i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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