I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
