That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
