Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
