All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
