Dual....:-)
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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