there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
