if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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