He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it was like eating out sand paper
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
