I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
