he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
