You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
