hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Did I show you my penis last night?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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