you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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