Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
