can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
