Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
