Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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