there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
