butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
