Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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