OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
God, you're like boner-b-gone
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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