my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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