His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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