I love black thongs
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
