Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize