what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
