I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
