just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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