Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
