Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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