so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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