Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
