sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
