that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
