Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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