I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i was born a porn star she said
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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