recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
