I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
