I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
