She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
