its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
