Taylor Swift is so right about you.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize