her vagine was all disorganized.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
