He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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