What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
