Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
