hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
