haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
