listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
