AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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