What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize