I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
