ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Rumble strips road head = magical
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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