Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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