i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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