I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
