You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
This house was built for laser tag.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
