I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
