if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
