What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
