Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
