you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
