You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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