she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
