we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
