im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
