Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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