I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
