why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
