I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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