ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
