i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
