Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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