Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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