I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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