Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
