Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
