We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
