my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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