Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
