Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
