If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So. Much. Porn.
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