I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
