the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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