somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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