How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
